Humor

17 Rules Dogs Have For You Humans

17 Rules Dogs Have For You Humans

You know that your dog basically owns you, right?

Rule #1 Wake up in an orderly fashion every day to fill my empty bowl. I will serve as your alarm clock and reminder if you fail to do so.

odieseyes

Rule #2 Bathroom time is together time. 

theconeydog

Rule #3 You must give me a nibble of every piece of food you eat…unless it’s a vegetable. You can keep those.

homerpugalicious

Rule #4 Don’t come home smelling of other dogs. I will be checking your collar for slobber stains.

wattson07

Rule #5 Let me inside or outside at my request, no matter how many times I’ve asked already. I would do the same for you if I had opposable thumbs and you didn’t, okay?

dobbythehousepug

Rule #6 I can sleep anywhere I please, whether it be my bed, your bed, or in your clean basket of laundry.

citydogliving

Rule #7 Please appreciate when I alert you of noises I hear outside. I’ve saved your life hundreds of times already.

aquacorg

Rule #8 If it lands on the floor, it’s mine. No five-second rule. And to be honest, the five-second rule is kind of gross, don’t you think?

olivethefancyfrenchie

Rule #9 Take me on one visit per day to see the magical creature called Squirrel and his buddy, Raccoon.

pennytheredbone

Rule #10 Cuddle with me at least four times a day. While doing it you must tell me how cute and soft I am.

trickdog.bella

Rule #11 I get shotgun every time, regardless of whether I remember to call it or not.

alffiinas

Rule #12 Leave one pair of stinky shoes out per day for me to chew on. Stinky socks and underwear will do, too.

princereefer

Rule #13 Do not dress me as you please. I prefer to be naked. Unlike you humans, I’m actually proud of my body.

ohmydoggies

Rule #14 Banish the ridiculous plastic headpiece that you sometimes make me wear.

kotaro1559

Rule #15. And water torture is ILLEGAL. Is this not America??

nantuckythepuppy

Rule #16 I may use whatever furniture I please, even if you’re already sitting on it.

dogsittingonhuman

Rule #17 We shall never be apart, and I will always be by your side.

baconeggthefrenchie

Featured image via @campandyc

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