Humor

Cats vs. Dogs

Cats vs. Dogs

One day in the life of our four-legged family members.

8am

Dog: Dog food! My favorite thing!

 

Cat: Day 643 of my captivity. Humans dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

9am

Dog: Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

Cat: The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

9:30am

Dog: The park! My favorite thing!

Cat:My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. 

10am

Dog: Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

Cat: Captors attempt to claw my soft underbelly. I retaliate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

12pm

Dog: A ride in the car! My favorite thing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cat: HUMAN FORCES TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE IN MOVING BOX THING.

2pm

Dog: MAIL DELIVERY! My favorite thing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cat: Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at the front doorstep. I had hoped this would strike fear into captor’s hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

 

5pm

Dog: You’re making dinner?! My favorite thing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cat: I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously an imbecile.

 

5pmcat

From here.

6pm

Dog: Bath! My favorite thing!

Cat: Dear Diary, Human tried to drown me in porcelain tub of water today…

8pm

Dog: Glowing box of pictures with humans! My favorite thing!

7pmdog

From here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cat: Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

9pm

Dog: It’s time for bed? My favorite thing!

8pmdog

From here.

8pm

Cat: Please leave now.

10pm

Dog: ZzzzZzzzZzzzzz…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cat:

The next day…

… and all days after…

funny dog

From here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

♥♥♥♥♥

Story inspired by this thread. 🙂

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