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Human Horoscopes From Our Resident Canine Astrological Expert

Human Horoscopes From Our Resident Canine Astrological Expert

Hello, dear canine friends. Do you ever wonder what the fur-ture has in store for you? Will you ever find love (or your bone)? Can you make millions at your current job, or should you find another pawffice? Will you ever learn who is a good boy?

Well pawnder no more! Because I’m here to quell all your astrological fears. Find your sign, and do your best to read:

Taurus
Relationships are like mailmen; they come and go. Don’t be distraught when a relationship cools around the 4th or 5th… you know what they say – When one doggy door closes, another one opens (and there may be a snack behind it!).

Doggy Door

Gemini
This weekend, the world is your fire hydrant – make your mark! Others will look to you to get the pawty started. You don’t have to stick around til the end; just get the ball rolling. And then pounce on that ball!

Water Fetch

Cancer
You’re of the breed who likes to have complete control of your castle. But from May 1 – 3 and again May 8 – 9, your home life will get a little cray-cray. It may be stressful so try not to lose any fur over it. Just keep your cool, do some yoga (Downward Dog), and you’ll get through it. And above all else, keep your friends close, and your stress-ball closer!

Downward Dog

Leo
Good things are coming your way! Get ready for an influx of gadgets and goodies early on in the month. And mark your calendar for the 6th and 7th, when love (and possibly a skunk!) is in the air. Be still, my widdle doggy heart!

phone

Virgo
Start off the month by breaking from your boring routine. Great things can happen outside your comfort zone. Your boldness will pay off! And things may get dicey around the 6th or 7th, and you may poop in some shoes — but the ones you ruv will forgive you.

crate

Libra
You’ve been feeling a bit anxious lately. Well good news, my mopey mutt! A tidal wave of positive energy is flowing your way. Start the month off strong by riding them out and seeing where they take you. Enjoy the groovy waves, surfer dawg!

Surfer Dog

Scorpio
You may not always be the life of the pawty, but on the 3rd and 4th of the month, it’s your turn to shine! It’s doggone easy to be bad, but try to use your newfound power and influence for good. Then around the 8th and 9th, you may get a whiff of something strange in the air. Press paws, lay low and let it pass.

power

Sagittarius
Some mildly stressful situations may arise between the 1st and 3rd of the month. Play it cool, doggy-o. You know what they say – Don’t let the vet see you sweat! You’ll encounter some strangers on the 6th and 7th – play nice! Your friendliness will earn you good canine karma.

doghorse

Capricorn
Be a chill-y dog. Chill at home in your comfort zone over the weekend of the 4th. Sure, you may choose to take action if something cool comes up… but it’s so nice to stay put. Trust us – ‘Sit’ and ‘stay’ will be easy to obey.

Couch

Aquarius
You’re a social butterfly and everypup knows it! Get ready to sniff some butts and get some tails waggin’ on the 4th and 5th. The world needs you and your pawsitive energy – get out there!

Butterfly Dog

Pisces
On the 6th or 7th, if something feels too good to be true – like a wounded squirrel limping across your front yard, smothered in gravy – don’t be surprised if it is! Listen to your gut because it’s never wrong (and always hungry!). Then on the 8th and 9th, you’ll have ample opportunity to be a good dawg… so do it and reap the juicy rewards!

squirrel

Aries
You’re the shining center of the universe! At least for the first few days of the month. Bask in your own glory – be a ‘basking hound!’ Then prepare yourself for a visit from a mysterious stranger around the 6th or 7th. Is it a friend? An enemy? A new lover? It’s an exciting time to be a pup… get excited! (but not too much or you’ll pee the rug)

Sun Dog

Featured image via Daily Mail

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