Recently I’ve overheard my human coworkers talk about how “obnoxious” and “annoying” I am whenever there is a squeaky toy in the office. Here’s the thing: I HATE squeaky toys. Whenever one comes in my midst, I must do all I can to annihilate+destory it. I just have to say this– you humans completely misunderstand me.
Squeaky toys to me are what:
-The Montagues are to the Capulets.
-The Red Sox are to the Yankees.
-Newman is to Seinfeld.
-Non-crispy bacon is to… um… the world.