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‘The Bachelorette’ As Told By Dogs

‘The Bachelorette’ As Told By Dogs

The Bachelorette is a cult classic. The ABC show features one woman who is looking for true love and, in the process, dates a whole pack of guys voting them out one-by-one by passive aggressively not giving them a rose. It’s dramatic, it’s outrageous, and it’s everything a reality television show should be.

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While we wait for Jojo to pick her suitor on the actual show, we decided to explain things our own way. Here is The Bachelorette, as told by dogs:

On the first episode of the season, the Bachelorette is introduced and will inevitably wear a super sassy dress.

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There will be a great scene of her getting ready, and she will come out of the mansion looking like a supermodel.

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After we meet the suitor, we get the absolute pleasure of being introduced to the 20+ guys that are ready to find love.

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It will inevitably get a bit overwhelming for the Bachelorette.

I mean, they will be ALL over her. It’ll be a full-out battle for alone time.

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Some of the guys will have adorable and silly gimmicks to win her over.

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…And some of them will come on WAY too strong.

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Some of the guys will have a pretty funny job title, like “Hipster.”

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Or Country Music Singer. There will be guitars on the first night, and there will be serenading.

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Occasionally there will be a former NFL player who will really stir stuff up.

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The alcohol will be flowing at that first cocktail hour.

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And some of the guys might have just a bit too much to drink.

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Okay, maybe a little more than a bit. Someone will probably end up in the pool in their underwear.
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After that first rose ceremony, the Bachelorette gets to go on a one-on-one date with a guy of her choice! Let the games begin!

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Things will get steamy. Typically the date ends with slow-dancing and making out in front of a country singer who came to perform just for them.

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And then the group dates will begin. And those guys will be chompin’ at the bit for some alone time with the Bachelorette.

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Honestly, it’s a total sausage fest.

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The group date will most likely consist of the boys doing some manly challenge, like playing football on an NFL field.

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…and let’s be real, some of these guys just aren’t cut out for football. Or sports.

Sometimes the group date will end with a weird pool party.

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And the guys will get real territorial.

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There will be some fighting, some big talk, and some really nice guy trying to break it up.

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Then there are a whole bunch of other super awkward one-on-one dates. Sometimes there’s an overtly-sensual hot yoga date that will get weird fast.

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But it’ll still end with kissing. Lots and lots and lots of kissing.

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There will most likely be a date that involves doing something super cool, like riding a helicopter or a yacht, or something else equally as luxurious.

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Did we mention there’s a lot of kissing?

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There’s the dreaded two-on-one date where someone is always the third wheel.

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And the overnight date in the fantasy suite, which gets, ahem, intense.

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But in the end, the Bachelorette will pick the love of her life. And they will live happily ever after (and probably have a televised, outrageous wedding)

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Ah, puppy love!

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Featured image via mobogenie.com

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