Humor

The Tale of Rude Dog’s Trashcapades

The Tale of Rude Dog’s Trashcapades


This is a tale *ahem* tail of a mischievous food-lovin’, trash-rootin’ Old English Sheepdog mix named Rudie. Aka: Rude Dog. Rudie lives in Chicago with his family.
rudie and marley

This is Rudie’s family: Heather, Dave, and sister Marley.

rudefam


Rudie’s story as we know it begins four years ago when Heather heard that there was a grumpy Old English Sheepdog in need at her local shelter. (Heather is also in charge of a shelter of her own.)

Rudieshelter

 

Originally Heather didn’t intend to adopt Rudie. She was planning her wedding and moving… But she couldn’t get Rudie’s fat bum out of her mind. So she brought him home.


When he first came home, he didn’t have any hair on his tail and he was a bit of a grump. Heather and her husband finally figured out that Rudie was very hypothyroid.
rudiefreedomday


Once Heather and Dave put Rudie on medication and he turned into a whole new dog. He was playful, happy, sweet and really, really mischievous.


 And then:


trash

The timeline of destruction started with amateur dog stuff: the trash cans.

1begins

10-19-09, it begins.

 

Heather and Dave tried putting the trash cans on the table, but Rudie got them.

13dailyocc

“Ha ha ha! What did *YOU* do today?”

They tried putting the trash cans in the bathroom, but Rudie figured out how to open the door!

2neverinmylife

“I think we’ve been robbed. There used to be bacon in there.”

 

Heather and Dave tried putting up a gate to keep Rudie out of the kitchen, but Rudie just broke it.

8trash

“If you think a little wood can stop me…”

Snapped the screws right in half.


9gatebroken


Heather and Dave tried to zip tie the gate back together… But Rudie just busted through again… And tore up the zip tie container.


10ziptiesdestroyed
Oh– and he also pulled the fridge out of the wall. (Naturally.) Eventually Heather and Dave realized that the trash had to be behind a locked door.

12notwherefridgewasleft

“This is not where we left the fridge, in case you were wondering.”

Speaking of the fridge– after a few years, Rudie realized that he could open it himself.

11fridgeraid

“He opened the fridge when Dave was at the store for 10 minutes. He ate three tomatoes, a brick of cheddar and pita bread.”



The best part? Rudie would open the fridge and only pick out a few specific items.


rudieshamed


They also tried screwing the fridge to the wall as an extra precaution, but that didn’t work. In the coming months he learned how to break the lock, pull the fridge out of anchor and… pick the duct tape off.


IthinkMarleytugged


Heather and Dave now have a padlock on there and it is anchored into a stud.


lockedfridge


In addition to the trash and the fridge, Rudie is also known as a countertop terrorist…

7junkmailnoplatesbroken

“What a good boy! He ravaged a pile of junk mail and took a few pots and pans off the stove, (Thankfully not turning the stove on this time…).”

A drawer terrorist…

14kitchenlooting

“Rudie celebrated a Sox win with a little kitchen looting.”

A dishes terrorist…

broken plates

“Look what I did today mom!”

A Christmas tree terrorist…

christmastree

“Attn Everyone: Effective immediately Christmas is canceled. Please leave all candy canes with me, and if anyone has seen Tigger’s body please tell mom. “

 

A dishwasher terrorist…

rudiedoesthedishes

“I maintain my innocence.”

(Pretty serious dishwasher terrorist, actually…)

rudiedishwasher

“Did the dishes for you, mom.”

And a stove terrorist.

stillmysyeryappliancesboltedtowall

Is there a problem? I wanted to make a turkey.

Despite the fact that Rudie will vertically leap for just a whisper of a promise of food, Heather still has to boost all 85 pounds of Rudie into the car.

waitingforhisboost

Need some help here.

 

One day, Heather thought it would be a good idea to get a motion-sensing camera to how Rudie managed his trashcapades… And to see if he was the lone ranger… or if Marley was his accomplice.

 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011.

Rude Dog’s day is chronicled by a hidden camera.

1

2:47PM: Dave just left, dogs are eating Kongs.

2

2:52PM: Rudie checks the counters

3

2:55PM: Rudie checks the stove.

4

2:56PM: Re-checking the counters.

5

3:05PM: Pulling Heather’s tote bag off the coat rack.

6

3:15PM: Opens the cabinets. Coat rack is defeated.

7

3:17PM: Re-checking the sink.

8

3:21PM: Checking the coffee table.

9

3:55PM: Barking.

10

4:05PM: Loungin’

12

4:30PM: More barking.



Just a regular day for Rude Dog.


Now you might be asking yourself, “Sheesh! That Rudie is a naughty pup. Why don’t Heather and Dave put him in a crate while they’re gone?”


The thing is, Heather and Dave cannot crate Rudie safely and their trainer suggested that they shouldn’t try. Over the years Heather and Dave have learned how to safely confine Rudie to keep him out of the kitchen, but Rudie still finds ways to cause a ruckus.

5momsbag

“There *was* a loaf of bread wrapped in that tinfoil, and there *was* a bag of brownie bites in that jewel bag.” #stomachofsteel

 

6loaf

“It’s hard work rifling through mom’s stuff.”

 

rudieeatsmoretrainingtreats

“Um, I believe it was Marley who ate all the training treats.”



And if there’s one thing to remember about Rude Dog…

You can’t tear him from the trash forever. Once a rude dog, always the Rude Dog.

rudiecountersurfer

“Wasn’t me.”

 

rudiestrashparty

“Can you believe what Marley’s done?”

 

fork

“I made a new game. It’s called ‘Find the Forks All Over the House.'”

 

dad

“I learned it from my dad.”




But despite his trashcapades, Rudie is ruv’d very much and his family wouldn’t trade him for a well-behaved pup anyday.



oie_oie_twinkles



rudieinsnow


The End. rudie with barkbox

***Looking for more Rudie? Be sure to check out his Facebook page, “Rude Dog’s Trashcapades.” Rudie also has his own non-profit organization that provides financial assistance to dog owners in need. Along with the uber-famous Fifty the Two-Legged Pitbull, their goal is to keep pups in loving homes and out of overcrowded shelters.

 

Comments