Paw sniffers: It’s a secret society with bajillions of dog ruvers, but no one wants to admit they’re a member.
Chances are if you are reading this post, you may have a problem sniffing the corn-chippy goodness of your dog’s paws. If you answer yes to four or more of these questions, you may have lost the power to stop smelling your dog’s paws.
1. Do you keep secrets about your paw-sniffing behavior from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
2. Have you had problems connected to your dog’s paws the past year?
3. Have you ever resolved to quit sniffing your dog’s paw pads for a week but only last a few minutes or seconds?
4. Do you wish people would mind their own business about your paw sniffing—stop telling you what to do?
5. Have you had to have a whiff of your dog’s paws upon awakening during the past year, just to get out of bed?
6. Do you resent people who can smell their dog’s paws without getting into trouble?
7. Do you tell yourself you can stop smell your dog’s paws any time you want to, even though you keep smelling them when you don’t intend to?
8. Have you missed days of works or school because of your habitual paw sniffing?
9. Do you have feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment about the amount of time you smell your dog’s paws?
10. Have you ever substituted forepaw for hind paw, thinking that one particular paw was the problem?
11. Have you ever substituted a bag of Fritos to get the same effect without having to bring a paw to your nose?
12. Do you avoid people that give you guff about your smelling dog paws?
13. Have you ever felt life would be better if you could stop snorting your doggie’s paws?
14. Do you think a lot about dog paws?
15. Do you fear for your sanity?
16. Have you ever lied about how much time you spend smelling your dog’s feet?
17. Does the thought of never smelling your dog’s feet terrify you?
18. Has smelling the fur on the bottom of your forever-friend’s feet affected your relationship?
19. Have you ever brought a random dog’s paw to your nose and took a whiff?
20. When your emotions are intense—positive or negative—do you reach for your dog’s paws?
What’s your score?
If you answered yes to more than four questions on this test, you may be well beyond human aid. We hated to admit that we could never sniff puppy paws safely. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to a problem. 😉