There are dogs… and then there are Dachshunds. Doxies. Wiener dogs. Sausages. You name it–they’re long and they’re hilarious 99% of the time.
They look weird, and they act even weirder. And some (if not most) of the things they do just can’t be explained other than with a shrug and the words, “It’s a doxie thing.”
If you’ve got one, you know exactly what I mean–here’s 19 reasons for proof.
1. The mutherpuppers don’t shut up.
Maybe the length of their bodies stretches their vocabulary too. I’ve heard some noises come out of my Doxie I didn’t think existed on the spectrum of sound.
Have paws. Will dig. That’s the Doxie motto.
3. They have a whole song devoted to them.
And sometimes, you croon it to them as a lullaby.
Command a dachshund? HA.
Because those wriggly little suckers burrow like no tomorrow.
They can JUMP.
8. They sometimes overestimate their capabilities.
And it will give you gray hairs. (That delicate back! Argh!)
And no one will else will get why you’re arguing with a dog about getting your darn pillow back.
They just choose not to.
11. Their farts smell like garbage.
Well, think of what they eat. Not what you feed them. WHAT THEY EAT.
12. They have one thought: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
13. Their lying–ahem–acting, is better than Meryl Streep’s.
And they know they deserve the Oscar.
And it’s hilarious.
And it doesn’t always involve a butt on the ground.
16. If there’s a spare human body part anywhere…
They will sit on it.
17. They may go bald.
So now you have a legit excuse to stick them into adorable jackets.
18. Wiener puns will become part of your daily routine.
It’s probably the only time random strangers will point and squeal, “wiener!” and it’s ok.
19. Once you go Dach, you don’t go back.
Because their love, snugs, and loyalty are unmatchable. 🙂